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New Study Challenges the ‘Monogamy-Superiority Myth’, as Non-Monogamous People Report Just as Happy Relationships and Sex Lives

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Analysis of 35 studies involving 24,489 people across the US and Europe, demonstrate no significant differences between individuals in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships 

 

Monogamous and non-monogamous individuals report similar levels of satisfaction in both their relationships and sex lives, according to a comprehensive new meta-analysis.

Published today in The Journal of Sex Research, the peer-reviewed study debunks the prevailing belief that monogamous relationships – defined as exclusive romantic and sexual commitment to one partner – are inherently superior in fostering fulfilling relationships compared to alternative structures.

While monogamy has been the predominant type of relationship in much of recent Western history, many individuals choose alternative structures. Non-monogamy includes various consensual arrangements, such as open relationships – where couples maintain romantic but not sexual exclusivity – and polyamory, which involves having several romantic relationships simultaneously.

The study, which analysed data from 35 studies involving 24,489 people in the United States, Canada, Australia, Portugal, Italy, and other countries, found no significant differences in relationship or sexual satisfaction levels between individuals in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.

“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion and trust than non-monogamous ones. This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives,” says lead author, Associate Professor Joel Anderson, a Principal Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sexuality, Health, and Society situated at La Trobe University.

“Our findings challenge this long-standing assumption outside of academia, providing further evidence that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships experience similar levels of satisfaction in their relationships and sex lives as those in monogamous ones.

“Our theory as to why these findings have occurred, perhaps, is down to what we’d argue is the most common issues in relationships – and certainly the most common factor in relationship breakdown – infidelity. People in non-monogamous relationships often have agreements with their partner/s which mean infidelity isn’t a relevant factor in their relationships, whereas it is naturally heartbreaking experience for those in monogamous relationships.”

Sub-group analyses revealed that satisfaction levels remained consistent across different demographics, including LGBTQ+ and heterosexual participants, as well as among different types of consensual non-monogamous arrangements, such as open relationships and polyamory, or relationship satisfaction dimensions such as trust, commitment or intimacy.

“Romantic and sexual satisfaction significantly contribute to our overall well-being. These results call into question some of the common misconceptions about non-monogamy. Despite our findings demonstrating comparable satisfaction levels, people in non-monogamous relationships often face stigma, discrimination, and barriers to accessing supportive healthcare and legal recognition.

“What we see is that those non-monogamous relationships have great relationships and great sex, in spite of the fact that their relationships come under scrutiny in most societies, and in spite of the fact that they experience differential or even prejudiced treatment because of their relationships structures, which are viewed as out of the norm,” adds Professor Anderson, a social psychologist whose primary interests revolve around LGBTQ health and well-being.

“This study highlights the need for more inclusive perspectives on different relationship structures. Healthcare professionals, therapists, and policymakers must recognize and support diverse relationship structures rather than assuming monogamy as the default or ideal.”

Limitations of this study include a reliance on online sampling, which may reduce its representativeness and generalizability.
Moreover, all studies used self-reported data, which may introduce bias in groups who have experienced stigma and may seek to justify their choices. Additionally, the focus on Western countries limits insights into differing cultural perspectives on non-monogamy.