Porn, the manosphere and misogyny are warping boyhood – but what can be done about it?

Confronting the rise of misogyny in boys from the chatroom to the classroom

Photo for illustrative purposes only: photograph is of a model. Picture by Getty Images for Unsplash.

Incels do not start off as ‘dangerous loners’, but are depressed, anxious and isolated young men who need support.

This is the argument of teacher and author Matt Pinkett in his new book, Unmasking the Manosphere: Tackling the Misogyny Crisis in Schools.

Pinkett draws on over a decade of classroom experience to expose how misogynistic ideologies are infiltrating classrooms, corridors and group chats across the UK, and shaping the attitudes of young boys. He challenges prevailing assumptions about online misogyny and its impact, offering a nuanced and often uncomfortable perspective that resists oversimplified narratives, and offers hope that boys can be supported to reject these messages.

“Boys don’t just learn misogyny from social media,” Pinkett says, “They learn it from each other, in whispered jokes and group chats. But they also watch how adults respond. They notice when we laugh things off, when we ignore the quiet comments, when we fail to step in. They also notice when we get it right.”

The influence of the manosphere

At the heart of these issues, Pinkett says, is the “Manosphere,” the popular word for the online communities includes incels (involuntary celibates), MRAs (Men’s Rights Activists), MGTOWs (Men Going Their Own Way) and PUAs (Pick-Up Artists).

What started as spaces for men to discuss their struggles has, in many cases, devolved into spaces for anti-female rhetoric and toxic masculinity.

“The Manosphere isn’t some dark corner of the internet that boys stumble into by accident,” Pinkett warns. “It’s loud, it’s accessible, and it’s actively recruiting – through memes, half-truths, and promises of belonging.”

Pinkett challenges the stereotype of incels as inherently dangerous and instead reframes them as individuals in need of understanding and support. By doing so, Pinkett provokes a deeper conversation about the root causes of their struggles and the societal factors that contribute to their isolation.

One of the Manosphere’s most-treasured belief systems – the so-called 80:20 principle, which claims that 80% of women only want the top 20% of men – is also debunked in the book. Pinkett traces this statistic back to a single anonymous blog post from 2015, based on a Tinder experiment involving just 27 women. This revelation exposes the fragility of a narrative that has come to define much of incel ideology, highlighting how easily misinformation can shape worldviews.

The role of the internet

Pinkett explains how these ideologies prey on boys’ often normal insecurities, offering simplistic, harmful narratives about gender and relationships to win them over.

“The MRA story is seductive,” he says. “It tells boys: ‘The world’s rigged against you. Women have all the power. Don’t trust them.’

“In this worldview, women are not people. They’re commodities. They exist to be consumed, conquered, and counted. And here’s the thing: it doesn’t just degrade women. It deforms men, too. It teaches boys that connection comes through deceit. That power matters more than kindness. That manipulation is a skill to be honed.”

Research cited in the book reveals that the average age at which a child first encounters pornography in the UK is just 13, with boys significantly more likely to consume it regularly. And this content being consumed by young boys, Pinkett tells us, normalises aggression and domination.

“The message is consistent and clear: sex is something men do to women,” he says.

The influence of figures like Andrew Tate, whose misogynistic content has reached millions of young viewers, further exacerbate the problem. Pinkett cites a 2023 Women’s Aid report, which found that exposure to such content made young people almost five times more likely to believe that physical violence in relationships is acceptable if followed by an apology.

“If teachers and parents do not offer an alternative narrative – one rooted in empathy, respect, and genuine strength – then the toxic areas of the internet will,” Pinkett warns.

The role of schools

In Pinkett’s view, however, all is not lost. He passionately argues that schools are uniquely positioned to counter the influence of the Manosphere and foster healthier attitudes among boys.

“Schools are where gender roles get rehearsed and reinforced, but they can also be where they get rewritten,” he explains. “If we’re not talking to boys about masculinity, someone else is.”

He suggests with some practical, evidence-based strategies, teachers and educators can make a huge difference, from teaching boys to critically analyse online content to creating safe spaces where they can discuss their feelings and experiences.

Teachers are also well positioned to intervene early, by spotting signs of misogynistic radicalisation that often appear subtly – in “edgy humour,” quiet obsessions with dating hierarchies or casual dismissal of girls’ voices.

“Rather than dismiss this as ‘just banter,’ staff should be trained to spot these as possible warning signs,” he advises.

Pinkett also makes a serious and specific claim about government accountability: there is currently no national guidance defining what constitutes child-on-staff sexual harassment in schools. Pinkett, who raised this issue at the Women and Equalities Committee, argues that this policy gap leaves schools ill-equipped to address a growing problem. He calls for clearer definitions and accountability measures to ensure schools can effectively safeguard both students and staff.

Pinkett also draws attention to the new draft of Keeping Children Safe in Education (KCSIE) 2026, which explicitly names misogyny as a statutory safeguarding priority for the first time. This development, he argues, provides schools with a strong mandate to address gender-based harm and offers a timely opportunity to align safeguarding practices with updated national priorities.

A new model of masculinity

At its core, Unmasking the Manosphere is a challenge to traditional notions of masculinity. Pinkett calls for a new model, one that values empathy, emotional intelligence and respect over dominance and detachment.

“Much of the Manosphere is built on contempt: for women, yes – but also for empathy, compromise, softness,” he writes. “The antidote to that isn’t just better arguments. It’s different role models.”

Pinkett urges schools to make role models of men who embody these traits and to integrate these values into the curriculum: “Show boys, through school culture, that these traits are not just tolerated – they are respected.”

He also emphasises the importance of small, everyday actions.

He says:” Even small moments matter. If you can respond to a sexist joke with calm authority, if you can help a boy understand how porn has shaped his expectations of girls, if you can create a classroom where girls feel seen and boys feel safe to unlearn – then you’re already doing the work.”

Hope for the future

Despite the scale of the problem, Pinkett has a great deal of hope. He shares stories of boys who, given the right guidance, have transformed their attitudes and behaviours.

“One thing I’ve learned from years of working in schools is that boys can change quickly, dramatically, and permanently, when the conditions are right,” he says. “This is why I reject the fatalistic view that misogyny is something we can’t change. Boys are not doomed to repeat the mistakes of the generations before them.”

“Culture is not fixed,” he continues. “It is a living thing, made and remade every day by the words we choose, the actions we take, and the things we let slide. If we want a culture where boys grow into men who see women as equals, we have to build it: in classrooms, in living rooms, on pitches, and online.

“Teachers can’t do everything. But we can do something. Because when it comes to misogyny, silence is a lesson too. And it’s one we can no longer afford to teach.”